This
Girl During Covid-19
-W.N.
Hazirah
The
changes a person could go through their life is just amazing and these are just
some of the changes a girl went through this whole COVID-19 period. Well, still
going on period.
A
girl who was terrified about the COVID-19 virus outbreak never understood why there
were some people find it so hard to abide the movement control order (MCO) rule
that was implemented by the federal government of Malaysia. Going out in public
without any good reasons, getting close contact with other people who has no
idea if they’re infected or not. In her mind, “isn’t this to help themselves
too? Don’t they have loved ones that they wish to protect from getting infected
by this awful virus? Do they not get the news on how the virus can spread and
how it can kill? How those infected people are suffering, fighting for their
lives? Dead!”
This
bothered her so much that she was stressed and upset that some of her family
members were a part of that group of people. She tried so hard not to go out,
not even to fulfill her need to work nor to have a social life too, just to
make sure that her family has a very low risk of being infected especially when
she knows that the ones that are staying under the same roof as her aren’t in good health as well but alas, some people don’t
even care about that.
One
day, she cried knowing the fact that one of her family members’ colleague’s
husband was tested positive COVID-19! Everyone from the office that had came into
close contact with her were asked to
self quarantine at home. That means that particular family member too, has to
self quarantine at home. The same home that she’s in! Not entitled to choose
your expiration date is probably not the best feeling ever. Especially when
you’re a believer of a certain religion. Deep inside your heart, you just know,
how unready you are to go to the next life. So she often pray to God if she
could be “taken” when she’s absolutely ready. Hopefully she can, she always
hope, but knowing her true self, sigh, there is just so much to be “fixed”. Oh,
how grateful she was when that person’s test came back negative. Another day,
another chance to become a better person.
However,
it really didn’t help with her attitude of feeling so disgusted and treating that
group of family members who took the MCO rule so lightly, so poorly. Although
the number of COVID-19 cases has decreased to 1 digit these couple of days,
that has not decreased the level of fear in this girl, but her mindset, her
mindset towards the situation changed somehow and I’ll tell you how that
happened.
One day she started feeling warm and in addition to that, she had coughs. “Oh no! Could it be that deadly virus!”, she feared. By now you must know how paranoid and overthinking this girl already is. She started telling herself that the people close to her are going to be infected too and how others will be disgusted by her, exactly like how she is feeling toward the others, and worse, they are all going to blame her and hate her because she is the reason that the virus is spreading to them. So starting from that day onwards, never again she instilled that feeling of hatred. She started welcoming the people from the “outside world” into her home with a smile just as she used to have before the pandemic but with safety measures of course. She still hates the virus.
That
wasn’t the only change she undergone. That girl went through a break up during
the pandemic and no tears was sheded like her previous break ups. Boy, was she
proud of herself that day. To be able to move on very easily was something she
thought she could never do, but she did it. Guess the quarantine period
probably helped a little. She didn’t had much to do, so she had all the time
she needed for herself to think rationally. She realized that if it’s not meant
to be, it’ll never meant to be, but to try, it’s fine. At least there wasn’t
another “what if” situation haunting her mind.
She
also started doing things that she doesn’t do so often before. She started to
cook! Instead of just only watching those cooking videos that makes her drool,
she finally tried out the recipes! She would have never knew that replacing
ingredients that she didn’t have at home and adding with whatever she had,
would still turned out scrumptious. Not only that, one day when she decided to
cook, her mother thanked her! Her mother was really grateful that her daughter
cooked that day. Apparently her mother was just too tired to cook but as usual,
it’s a mother’s thing to still try her best to make sure that meals are
provided for her children, even though her children are all passed 20. Mothers,
right? There was this one time her father told her, “I only love you guys this
much (showing the length of his thumb and his pointing finger), but your
mother, she loves you guys this much (spreading his arms wide open)”.
Since
during the MCO, this girl chosed not to meet people, which was basically a part
of her job. So that means, no income for her. But that didn’t stopped her from
looking for other job opportunities. She learned new things and wow was she
amazed on how there are so many things that she can do to generate income from
the comfort of her home. That means she can always be there to help out her mother
and her special sister, something she has been considering doing for a very
long time already. She developed her skills, learning subjects that she didn’t
learn in school or university. And since she has more free time than she used
to, there is no more good reasons for her to procrastinate from doing the
things she wanted to do for years. Realizing that courage was the only thing
was needed to get those things done.
Besides
that, this girl who cut her brother’s hair horribly, in the words of her family
members, “macam kena gigit tikus” when they were little can now cut her own
hair and making it look like it was done at the saloons. Well, at least she
thought so like that since she finally got her fringe looking the way she likes
it and getting requests from her aunties to cut their hair too.
Her
need to care for her cleanliness improved a lot too. From the girl who never
washes her hands before eating, to the girl who washes her hands after touching
basically everything! It took that COVID-19 to get her started on that new
habit. Unbelievable.
Not only that, she was surprisingly amazed to the beauty of having people that care and still keeping in touch with her despite having the pandemic cancelling all the plans they had with each other. Video calls were the best for her. It’s like having that person really infront of her, spending time like if there was nothing seperating her with that person on the other side of the screen. She still managed to watch movies and play games together. How lucky are we to be living in an era of technology she thought.
Since
never knowing when we’re going to “go”, she learnt to be more appreciative of
others too, realising how for one second you have your loved ones with you and
the next second they’re gone. She lost her father just a couple of months
before the pandemic. That was the moment she realizes that one can never
understand how another person is feeling when they lose someone they love. Yes
they’ll feel like the world is ending but to say she understands how that person
is feeling should never cross her mind, she keeps reminding herself. She lost
her father, she felt that was one of the worst feeling ever but people who lost
thier family members during the pandemic must have felt worse especially not
being able to even kiss the person they love for the last time. So she took
something from someone who came to her father’s funeral. Instead of saying that
she understands how that person is feeling, telling them to be strong, to be patient, instead of telling
their responsibilities towards the ones that are still alive which was a help
definitely and she’s very appreciative of that. But all that one particular person
said was, “doa for your father, your father was a very nice man”. The comfort
she felt from that lady, woah! Honestly, she thought that aunty was one of thier
relatives that she never met but apparently she was her father’s customer. It
was something that she thought did not only helped her throughout that tough
moment but also hopefully will help her father too in the hereafter.
Her
dad was the one with the saying you need to think with 4 dimension. Whatever
does that mean she thought. But seeing how her dad thinks and handled
situations, she probably gets what her dad was trying to say. It was something
that made her observe and realize more from each situations she was in. It was something that made her learned even
more. It seems like she learnt a lot before the pandemic, she learned more
during and hopefully even more after too. Hopefully this girl will never stop
learning and continue to improve herself on so many things, adapting towards
changes positively. It’ll be nice if I can do so.
